HOW TO BUILD SELF ESTEEM - THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM BY NATHANIEL BRANDEN ANIMATED BOOK REVIEW
I want you to imagine two people.
The first man wakes up and does his usual routine before work, and its all a blur.
He goes to work and when he comes home, he isnt even really conscious of what he did.
He starts eating the junk food he bought on his way home and watches TV while his wife
tries to talk to him. Now imagine another man. He wakes up and tells
his wife how thankful he is for their life. He drives over to his business and is passionately
working to build it into something great.
He comes home, and he and his wife have dinner
together while they stay present to the moment with each other.
Out of these two people, which one do you think is going to have higher self-esteem?
The first pillar is the practice of living consciously. Lately, my hair has been thinning. What I
havent done is this: Uh, how come Johns hair isnt thinning? How come John has better
genetics? Oh and did I mention that John is also 6 foot 4? Okay, the reason I havent
done that is because, thats a game you cant win. I promise you.
I dont care
who you are, even John cant win that game. What I have done is what anyone whos practiced
building self-esteem in their life would do, and it is this: improve what you can change,
and learn to accept what you cant. Improve what you can change, and learn to accept what
you cant. Now let me address a common issue.
There are
people who think that self-acceptance somehow goes against self-improvement. It doesnt.
In fact, self-improvement can only follow self-acceptance. If I didnt accept that
my hair was thinning, I wouldnt start researching what the right haircut needs to look like
for me, and I would end up looking like Bobby Charlton.
The second pillar is the practice of self-acceptance. I know a lot of people who are so physically
unfit that it jeopardizes the most important things in their life like their health and
their relationships.
And when they get confronted about it, a lot of these people have learned
a little trick that has been really trending lately. Apparently, everyone I know who is
unhealthy is unhealthy because of a medical condition. Now, let me just be clear that
Im not saying that these conditions dont exist. Im just saying that 19 out of 20
of these people dont have it.
If you do not exercise, if you do not eat healthy, you
probably shouldnt be going around telling people how youre overweight and unhealthy
because of a medical condition. Yeah, they might treat you like youre the victim,
but guess what? The only reason they sympathize with you is because the last thing they care
about is whether youre taking care of yourself or not.
The third pillar is the practice of self-responsibility. I dont know of a single person who doesnt
take responsibility, loves playing the victim and also has high self-esteem. If I had a kid and I could only teach him
one thing before he went to college, it would be how to stay authentic to his true self
under pressure.
Other than special occasions with my girlfriend where Ill have some
champagne, I dont drink. I havent found that to be something of value to my life.
When I was in college, I would go out with my friends and there was always that thing
of, Come on! Lets get drunk. And I was bad at a lot of things, but the one
thing I was really good at was being really grounded in what I believed in. In fact, in
almost every case it turned into guys having respect for it and girls being attracted to
it.
Now again, I didnt say I sort of believed in it. It was fully standing for what I believed
in, 100% unapologetic, and if that was a problem, everyone always knew I could just leave and
go have fun somewhere else. I wasnt half-assing anything.
The fourth pillar is the practice of self-assertiveness. Now let me make it clear that asserting yourself
doesnt mean lacking social awareness or being pushy.
I didnt go to a party where
I knew people would be drinking and start converting and preaching. Dont be stupid
with this, it depends on the context. Im going to act a little differently if Im
in a classroom environment than if Im around friends, but Im not going to go against
my authentic self in either situation. If you meet an entrepreneur who is passionate
about his business, and if you also meet a person who is indifferent towards his regular
job, the entrepreneur will almost always have higher self-esteem.
Why is that? Because the
entrepreneur is the modern day warrior. Just like the warrior has a strong sense of purpose
and lives to conquer, so does the entrepreneur. He has higher self-esteem because he lives
with a purpose. The fifth pillar is the practice of living
purposefully.
And finally, the sixth pillar the practice
of personal integrity. Notice how I said personal integrity, not someone elses integrity.
I went to a military academy and there were thousands of rules I had to follow, and I
broke most of them and it didnt bother me at all or affect my self-esteem in any
way, because those werent the things that went against what I believed in. But, if I
act against what I believe in, my inner voice will tell me how Im worthless over and
over again. And only I will know, but when it comes to self-esteem, my inner voice is
the one that matters the most.
You cant have the voice in your head telling you how
worthless you are and build self-esteem at the same time. And these are the six pillars of self-esteem
by Nathaniel Branden. Notice how each pillar starts with the practice of. Self-esteem
is not something you build by reading a book or watching a video; it is something you build
by constant practice for the rest of your life..
The first man wakes up and does his usual routine before work, and its all a blur.
He goes to work and when he comes home, he isnt even really conscious of what he did.
He starts eating the junk food he bought on his way home and watches TV while his wife
tries to talk to him. Now imagine another man. He wakes up and tells
his wife how thankful he is for their life. He drives over to his business and is passionately
working to build it into something great.
He comes home, and he and his wife have dinner
together while they stay present to the moment with each other.
Out of these two people, which one do you think is going to have higher self-esteem?
The first pillar is the practice of living consciously. Lately, my hair has been thinning. What I
havent done is this: Uh, how come Johns hair isnt thinning? How come John has better
genetics? Oh and did I mention that John is also 6 foot 4? Okay, the reason I havent
done that is because, thats a game you cant win. I promise you.
I dont care
who you are, even John cant win that game. What I have done is what anyone whos practiced
building self-esteem in their life would do, and it is this: improve what you can change,
and learn to accept what you cant. Improve what you can change, and learn to accept what
you cant. Now let me address a common issue.
There are
people who think that self-acceptance somehow goes against self-improvement. It doesnt.
In fact, self-improvement can only follow self-acceptance. If I didnt accept that
my hair was thinning, I wouldnt start researching what the right haircut needs to look like
for me, and I would end up looking like Bobby Charlton.
The second pillar is the practice of self-acceptance. I know a lot of people who are so physically
unfit that it jeopardizes the most important things in their life like their health and
their relationships.
And when they get confronted about it, a lot of these people have learned
a little trick that has been really trending lately. Apparently, everyone I know who is
unhealthy is unhealthy because of a medical condition. Now, let me just be clear that
Im not saying that these conditions dont exist. Im just saying that 19 out of 20
of these people dont have it.
If you do not exercise, if you do not eat healthy, you
probably shouldnt be going around telling people how youre overweight and unhealthy
because of a medical condition. Yeah, they might treat you like youre the victim,
but guess what? The only reason they sympathize with you is because the last thing they care
about is whether youre taking care of yourself or not.
The third pillar is the practice of self-responsibility. I dont know of a single person who doesnt
take responsibility, loves playing the victim and also has high self-esteem. If I had a kid and I could only teach him
one thing before he went to college, it would be how to stay authentic to his true self
under pressure.
Other than special occasions with my girlfriend where Ill have some
champagne, I dont drink. I havent found that to be something of value to my life.
When I was in college, I would go out with my friends and there was always that thing
of, Come on! Lets get drunk. And I was bad at a lot of things, but the one
thing I was really good at was being really grounded in what I believed in. In fact, in
almost every case it turned into guys having respect for it and girls being attracted to
it.
Now again, I didnt say I sort of believed in it. It was fully standing for what I believed
in, 100% unapologetic, and if that was a problem, everyone always knew I could just leave and
go have fun somewhere else. I wasnt half-assing anything.
The fourth pillar is the practice of self-assertiveness. Now let me make it clear that asserting yourself
doesnt mean lacking social awareness or being pushy.
I didnt go to a party where
I knew people would be drinking and start converting and preaching. Dont be stupid
with this, it depends on the context. Im going to act a little differently if Im
in a classroom environment than if Im around friends, but Im not going to go against
my authentic self in either situation. If you meet an entrepreneur who is passionate
about his business, and if you also meet a person who is indifferent towards his regular
job, the entrepreneur will almost always have higher self-esteem.
Why is that? Because the
entrepreneur is the modern day warrior. Just like the warrior has a strong sense of purpose
and lives to conquer, so does the entrepreneur. He has higher self-esteem because he lives
with a purpose. The fifth pillar is the practice of living
purposefully.
And finally, the sixth pillar the practice
of personal integrity. Notice how I said personal integrity, not someone elses integrity.
I went to a military academy and there were thousands of rules I had to follow, and I
broke most of them and it didnt bother me at all or affect my self-esteem in any
way, because those werent the things that went against what I believed in. But, if I
act against what I believe in, my inner voice will tell me how Im worthless over and
over again. And only I will know, but when it comes to self-esteem, my inner voice is
the one that matters the most.
You cant have the voice in your head telling you how
worthless you are and build self-esteem at the same time. And these are the six pillars of self-esteem
by Nathaniel Branden. Notice how each pillar starts with the practice of. Self-esteem
is not something you build by reading a book or watching a video; it is something you build
by constant practice for the rest of your life..
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